A Million Vices
A poem that touches on the topics of self-harm, suicide, and drug use, “A Million Vices” portrays a view on reality that many would say is twisted. Originally written in January of 2021.
Anxiety pulls me away from the scene,
Existing in a world where I was never meant to be.
On the coast, find me hanging from a cherry tree,
Rope around my neck, cut it, body lost at sea.
Decomposing in the ocean
Life goes on in slow motion
Still choking on my emotions
I’m lost, I’m not in this moment.
Because I can’t seem to feel a thing,
Burn my hands and tie a string,
Noose shaped, finally
I might just see my only dream.
I’ve had it since I’ve been a teen,
I won’t write or perform anything,
I’ll kick a chair and then I’ll sleep,
Neck gets snapped, then rest in peace.
My life is Hell but they think I’m fine.
Cut my wrist so I won’t cry.
Downing sanitizer because I drink to die.
I’ll tell you how I got this way, it’s about time.
Paid my soul, that’s half the price.
My organs, body, and my life,
Shits all gone, been sacrificed,
No light since my wrists been sliced.
Months pass, I haven’t been alive.
In limbo, bugs fill my eyes.
Mr. Booze by my side,
Stuck until I testify.
Graphite lead, in my head,
Blood shed, phone on my bed,
Shit unread, bitches upset,
Stop them threats, bitch I’m dead.
Let me rest.
A life that is forgotten is a life that don’t exist.
I’m always left forgotten, rotting in a pit.
Stupid motherfuckers telling me I gotta quit.
Can’t go a day without or else my wrists get slit.
Drugs right now sound tasty,
End my life and make it hasty.
Last time, I messed up, got lazy,
Just like I did with Casey.
I’m shaking, my body hates me.
Drugs might fucking break me.
Pop a couple, they save me.
Endless slumber, please don’t wake me.
I ain’t fucked up, I just see it how it is.
I know I’m better off with my wrists slit.
I know there’s no point in tryna quit.
I guess I’ll be that misfit with a deathwish.
-Graphite Everything
